Stanbrooke Today
May my epitaph read:  "He loved kids"
Well, here it is two thousand ten
            And we’re all gathered here
End of school brings lots of smiles
            And sometimes just a tear.
So here we sit at banquet time
            All dressed in finest clothes
And here with just the one we want
            (As everybody knows!)
But let’s look at this group here tonight
            As the year draws to a close
And see what’s happened to us all
            Our joys and our woes.
No Basketball game will be played tonight
            So, one thing’s very clear
It’s no surprise to anyone
            That Ryan is not here
We’re not sure why Ryan and Deon so often
    Wear stocking caps if you please
But of one thing we can be sure
            It’s not to prevent brain freeze.
Rocha’s left the weight room now
            Spandex showing off his best
Sure that every girl he passes
            Swoons,  just looking at his chest.               
All goes well till a cute young thing
            Sees his muscle flexing time
And  notes,  “my brother has more muscles than that,
            And he’s only nine”
But work real hard and grow those arms
            All that work is not lost
Never know, might come a time
            When there’s a river to swim across.
But for now, he’ll be content  
            And happy, like as not
To each time he passes an “On the Border”
            Get out and run across the parking lot.
Victor’s weird, he takes girl’s hands
            And blows on them while in his grip
Actually, it’s the girls who started this
            That’s as far up as they ever want to see his lips.
Collin’s big and if you cross him
     Best wait and hold your breath
Rile him and he’ll take out his teeth
            And gum you then to death.
Knock out your teeth on a post
            Pretty spastic fellow
But, at least, it’s not like the post -------
            Was painted flourscent yellow.
But, we all sympathize with Collin
            Might even shed a tear
Bright side:  we hear that post’s the only thing
            Collin’s kissed all year.
But tonight he might do better
            And have a little luck
Planning this, he’s probably the only guy
            Who got his eyebrows plucked.
Colin’s big and looks a he-man
            But, if we even have to ask
I’ll bet the shop where he got this done
            Flew someone in from San Francisco to do the task.
So, Collin’s here big as life
            His pride shoved underneath
If you don’t know him, just look
            For someone with no eyebrows and no teeth.
Kayla wants to be an actor
            Might make it, what the heck
She’s a shoe in if they ever decide
            They want an orange Shrek.
If you need any Facebook advice
            Autumn’s  guidance should be sought
She can help you choose just the right pictures
            Well, now that we think about it………. maybe not.
OK,  you break a big school rule
            Let’s stop and take a look
How many brain cells have to connect
            Not to post it on Facebook?
But, Autumn’s here having lots of fun
            Maybe too much, let me think
Just to be sure would some of you Junior girls
            Check what’s in her drink.
But, if Autumn can’t help you out
            With Facebook advice
Maybe Amanda and Maddy could
            If your goal is “not too nice”.
But don’t get too close to this couple
            At least move out of sound
They might offend your tender ears
            The way they throw the “S” bomb around.
Krista’s working hard tonight
            Carly’s homework must be done
But if you’ve got Daniel as a date
            Homework may  be your only fun.
Krista made a big production
            She’d save her first kiss there was no doubt
What a great thing for her to do
            By the way, Krista, how’s that working out?
To be fair, She tried her best
            To save the kiss and surely wait
To avoid much temptation she figured
            Daniel was sure the one to date.
Aziz, our token Arab,  best
            Get his act  together, what can we say
Those 40 virgins  just might get cut in half
            If he changes one more BMA
Everyone worried about Aziz
            Getting stopped at the airport and sent to court
But, fortunately, he had no lighter
            And wasn’t wearing shorts.
He did try to light his shoe on fire
            But, alas, his talent lags
All he did with his feeble try
            Was singe the hair from off his legs.
But we all know the future’s great
            For Aziz if he’ll work
And, if he does no doubt we’ll find him
            Working as a Quick Stop clerk.
Lots of folks fear for our country
            Think we could lose our freedom any time
Fear, because if Obama doesn’t become dictator
            Hallie’s next in line.
Whoever set rooms for senior trip
            A sense of humor surely had
Sarah and Kayla with Hallie and Miller
            Now, that was really bad.
Might as well if you go this route
            And try to make these four cozy
Assign Sarah Palin and Ann Coulter
            To a room with Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi.
But, Hallie’s really mild and sweet
            That’ know far and wide
Pay no attention that when they pass
            Chuck Norris steps aside.
Got a note from New York the other day,
            Said, “Thanks for visiting, but geeze….
Tell Deon to put on his big boy panties
            And then keep them pulled up, please.
Said they wouldn’t write about Deon at all
            But, we should understand in passing
The street vendors were puking in the streets
            From all their belly laughing.
But, Leland and Deon are here tonight
           Somehow they found a way
They’re a bit too old to still be seniors
           At least that’s what their ID’s say.
They thought the ID’s to be perfect
        To go bar hopping the other day
But they got kicked out – alas, Deon had
     His Barbie shorts on, what can we say?
This place tonight has heard of Deon
     And are not all that pleased
They said they were counting the silverware
     After Deon leaves.
I’d worry about offending Deon
     But what difference does it make
We’ve been here for at least 5 minutes
    There’s no way he’s still awake.
Some things are hidden, some are not        
      But easy for all to see
For instance, Giese can’t hit a baseball
     But he sure can hit a tree.
No doubt he’s our all star driver
            Formed his truck front into a “V”
Afraid the back might get jealous -
            He found another tree.
When our triplet girls heard of the new laws
            Allowing two of the same sex to wed
They  hurriedly wrote a note to Austin
            “How about three”, was all it said.
Amazingly all three forgot to wear their skirts
            NHS induction night.
Perhaps a bit less amazing was
            No boys noticed this sad sight.
Actually we’re not so sure
            Was this planned, the answer begs
Since they couldn’t attract boys with their faces
            Did they decide to try their legs?
Maddy and Zack split the blanket
            It was perhaps for the better
Cost the Sanders a pretty penny, though
            Now they have to pay a babysitter.
But Maddy knows there’s plenty more
            To pick from now or later
The next day she was seen going down the slide
            With a second grader
But, what really worried us about it all
            One way or the other
She was heard asking the second grader,
            “Do you have a little brother?”          
So, she’s moved on to college men
            To get ready for next year
But her eyes still wander toward the playground
            Way too often we do fear.
If you’re desperate for a date
            Getting a friend to help works just fine
Ask Katie, who got Funderburk
            To get her a date with Kevin Cline.
This left a tangled web of sorts
            As it worked out for Cline
Katie asked for dating help from
            The girl he flirts with the time.
Megan  Payne is here with Chad
            If she’s not smiling, let’s be fair
To her a date with Chad must feel like
            She’s still working at day care.
Chad’s proof that in love’s decisions
            Best go slow – for had he
And just hung in there for a little while
            Hey, He could end up a daddy.
JUSTIN HILL                                            
While in New York, Justin got an offer
    To do a Broadway show,  if you care.
But he turned it down ‘cause he didn’t know
     If they wanted him to play Goldilocks  or the bear.
Amy’s here with Justin now
     Amy, Hope you’re not sorry that you came
But, if Justin asked you he must have thought
     You were a video game.
Thinking you’re a video game
     Probably won’t require a fix
BUT, run, run fast away
    If he starts to call you Wii
Amy and Justin are now a couple
     No kidding, it’s a fact
We’ll now observe a moment of silence
     While you just think about that.
Stephen and Chelsea are here, I thought tonight
         Can’t see them, I’m not able
Quick,  someone check and see if they’re together
               Underneath the table.
Marissa’s started out with Leland
     Then Ryan caught her sight
After that, right on to Miles
     Good thing Tiger Woods isn’t here tonight.
About the three boys on her list
      Seems a bit uncommon
But I can’t figure out one thing
      These three have in common.
But tonight she showed up here with Jared
     Least I think I have that right
Looks like she’s made a U-turn now
     And committed to Temple Light.
But tonite she showed up here with Jared
     Least I think I have them right.
Looks like she’s made a U-turn now
     And committed to Temple Lite
Matt made his play on Junior trip
     Totted Kaylins bags all day, that’s neat
But, given the choice at banquet time
     He finished right behind --------a track meet.
Christina’s here with Kaleb now
     Together safe and sound
Their relationship, let’s see
     Is this the 3rd or 4th time around?
Their relationship is about to change
      Turn a brand new page
For her fifth go round she might decide
     To try someone her own age
Ricky carries his 5 gallon bottle
     Beats carrying round some books
Someone needs to seriously tell him
   How really, really retarded that looks
We think he may be doing it
     To show off his physique
Assuming girls faint dead away
     As he walks down the street.
But looking at Ricky and his jug
     We just have to think
The only reaction he’ll get from a girl
     Is “Go home and wash your feet.”
We guess the water’s fine for now
     We’ll tolerate it if we can
It is interesting that the label reads
   Taken from the Rio Grande
It really won’t build muscle much
     Or help weight lifting master
But one think it really seems to do -
    Make you run a whole lot faster.
Sydnie here really has
     But one claim to fame
But I don’t think we want to know
     Why Gonnarehea is linked to her name.
Laura surely could have found a date
     From the young guys crew
After all, that seems to be
     What our senior girls all do.
Penny’s here with Simineaux
            Been all over him all year
No, wait, that Daniels’ she’s with tonight
            Must be a story here.
She’d have come with Duncan without a doubt
            It surely would have been
But, Duncan’s pain was just too much-
            Baby teeth coming in
But, Julia, Duncan’s not a problem
            He could have come tonight
We know your boyfriend motto must be:
            “Get ‘um young and raise ‘em right.
And, while you’re getting them so young
            Claiming a little boy as a beau
We understand you make really, really sure
            Momma doesn’t know.
Since tonight she couldn’t rob the cradle
            She had to use her feminine wiles
To find someone to buy her ticket
            Enter sucker Miles.
Girls were hopefully asked here tonight
            In time to shop many a day
Unless you’re Shurtleff’s date, of course
            Then you got asked tonight on the way.
We have a “No” trophy sitting here
            It’s not really for the worst
It’s just for the boy who asked the most girls
            This year that’s Austin Sharnhorst
We thought of asking for a show of hands
            If Austin asked you here tonight
But with that many hands raised that high
            It wouldn’t be a pretty sight
He got so desperate we saw him out
            Talking to our squirrel
We didn’t worry until we heard him ask
            “Hey, are you a girl?”
So, Austin brought a non-Temple date
            Guess for tonight that’s his thing.
Really thought Amy might have been his date
            Guess that was just a Senior Trip sort of thing.
Rumor had it she’d never been kissed
            When Austin swooped right in
Saddest thing after Austin struck
            She noted, “I’m still not sure I have been.”
How desparate was he for a date
            More than most would think
He had to have Olson set him up for tonight
            That’s about as low as you can sink.
Ben and Austin got together
            For a flirting bout
Dangerous-----they about ended up
            Taking each other out.
Boegner has a date tonight
            And it’s worth a note
He didn’t know he wanted one
            Carley didn’t give him a vote.
Which now begs the question on our minds
            Be it wrong or right
We wonder when Carley will choose to tell him
            If he wants to kiss her at all tonight.
Tyler started home today
     His first day alone to drive
Got lost and had to come back to school
    This really happened, ‘tis no lie.
Please tell me Tyler’s not driving tonight
            If so, I think he just lost it
Thinking about what it would be like to be
            Lost forever with Carley Gossett.
Neppach’s certainly his own man
            To boss him no woman’s able
Unless you note of course tonight
            His mom sits underneath his table.
So to compensate, he found a girl
            That he can tell what’s so and so
By the way, Cindy, how did your dressing
            Him for the banquet go?
Oh, we have a note from security
            You could see this coming
Nic, your keys are locked in your trunk
            And the motor’s running.
But, Nic has an excuse for doing this
            It’s a good one without a doubt
You see, neither mom or girl friend here
            Told him to take them out.
We do suspect that our sweet Nic
            While going through life’s paces
May not really crippled be
            It just gets him better parking spaces.
Paula’s such a sweet young thing
            A family girl like no other
Just look at who she brought tonight –
            That is your little brother?
This couple’s really quite amazing
            They’re dating but “oh brother”
How do they do it since it’s clear
            They have yet to speak to one another.
In writing poems things come my way
            And I have to do my duty
Is there really someone here tonight
            Whose nickname is “Big Booty”?
Since that might be offensive to some
            One thing we better do
Even though the name does fit,
 Collin, We’re not talking about you.
In fact it’s said that every week
            Big Booty brings a cake or a pair
Hmmmm…one wonders if this be the case
            If there might be a clue in there somewhere.
Wilson’s here and rather quiet
            As his thoughts rapidly careen
But, let him be; he still wondering
            “What’s a Wolverine?”
Kelsey’s got Trey but she’s not too sure
            How tonight will go you’ll find.
But, should it end in kissing, she’s ready
            She brought her spiked boots to make the climb.
Chases’ heart is far away
            Where it’s gone to live
As it lays beside his one true love
            In her baby crib.
Bought a ticket for her here
            But fear stepped in for awhile
He surely didn’t want to be
            Seen as a pedophile
He even had a formal made
            Fit her right with no real sags
Which is a bit surprising considering
            It was made entirely of burp rags.
But, does an empty chair sit next
            To our Chase right now?
No, he filled it at the last minute
            But, let’s see just how.
Since his young love was out of reach
            He turned to another
And found someone old enough
            To be his young loves mother.
Just why would an older woman
            Help Chase this thing to solve
Well, does anyone think that through it all
            The word “pity date” might be involved.
So, tonight he’ll try not to think about
            The little one his heart has claimed
Maybe next year they can go somewhere
            When she’s potty trained.
Miner’s in the play this year
            Next year will be in track
He’s got in top shape this year from running
            Running from Hallie, that’s a fact.
But, Emily and Ian are now a couple
            As you can plainly see
Junior boys would tease about this
            If they weren’t afraid of Emily.
We have some royalty here tonight
            Not that you couldn’t guess
You did know that Garrett and Julia
            Are king and queen of TCS.
Or maybe they’re queen and prince
            When all is said and done
When you note Garrett’s age
            He might just be her son.
But tonight Garrett did it up real swell
            He’s not one to be too fickle
He has the only limo in town tonight
            That’s made from a tri-cycle                                 
Alyssa’s here, sure say “hi”
            But watch out in your haste
Before long be assured she’ll pull
            Her gown up to her waist.
The triplets see her little show
            Doesn’t change the way they act
They just watch the show and quickly comment
            “-We don’t see anything wrong with that.”
Bing looks OK and that’s good
            For awhile he was a site
Takes awhile to fully recover
            From all those cougar bites.
A typical day at TCS
            Several things have to be
Jared and Rachel behind the cafeteria
            Making out for all to see
But don’t tell Jared that as he kisses
            Rachel’s looking past him on the sly
And there she works her simple way
            And winks at Victor as he passes by.
Ian’s fleeing ‘cross open fields
            Hallie close behind, no lie
Sarah’s running right behind her
            But, she’s not real sure why
Kevin’s on his way to junior classes
            Ricky’s making out with a truck
The triplets are scraping orange tan off
            Leaving a pile of muck.
Christina’s trying hard to remember
            If she’s still with Kaleb on this day
And, if so, are they just getting back together
            Or about to go separate ways.
Farquhar’s sleeping on Miller’s floor
            A student aide they say
Resting up for strangling chickens
            Down at Chik-fil-a.
Vanessa has asked little Brandon Miller
            Another last minute date we hear
Last year he was Amy’s date
            Is there a pattern here.
Somewhere in there there was Brittany
            We might really be amused
But, Brannon, has it ever occurred to you
            You might be being used?
Rike just strolled ‘cross 820
            Reading a book all the way
But the book’s not permanently attached
            As the rumors say
After two long years Kayla and Ryan
            Broke up, what can we say?
Christina and Kaleb hear this and say,
            “Shoot, we do that every day.”
But this event happened late
            Too bad all the while
So, they sit together there tonight
            Hey, can we see a great big smile?
Caitlin’s dragging into school
            Like as not she surely will
Tell a story how her loving parents
            Staked her over a fire ant hill.
Carley’s got her young girl harem
            8th graders fill her cup
Vaden hears of this and yells
            “Hey, I’m ready, hook me up.”
Carly and Laura are fighting bad
            What else is really new?
Laura’s just not too happy since Hudson left
            Great love that was, too.
Trey flirts with Amy and Christina
            And tries to chase them all
Sadly, as his flirt gets going----------
            He walks into a wall.
Each year’s Temple Senior Class
            Gets tagged as good or bad
What can we say of this year’s group
            Well, probably it’s the gayest group we’ve had.
We’ve got our triplets girls and boys
            Autumn, Sarah, and Kayla for girls are three
Then course Tyler, Justin and Daniel
            Match that for the boys, you see.
Then Vaden has his baseball boys
            Scharnhorst, Rocha and Giese are way too close
And we won’t even talk about Colin and Trey
            Trust those are rumors at the most.
Reuben’s even in the act
            No doubt he’s on their side
In speech class he made “Flaunting Flags”
            Into a moto for Gay pride
We’re not saying anyone’s gay
            But it is a bit fulfilling
Aren’t gay guys supposed to be
            Really into body building?
And it’s also said that to attract
            Another to give a hug
They determine just how gay one is
            By the size of his water jug.
Only reason Smallwood’s not in this group
            He seems safe in a way
‘Course if Krista and Hallie are all he can attract
            Might be better off being gay.
But Daniel’s found a way to cope
            So far he’s been able
Whenever he realizes he’s stuck with Krista
            He just kicks a scorer’s table.
Meanwhile, Ricky flexes up his bicep
            Wants all to awe, it’s just that simple
But, alas, what he thought was a muscle
            Turns out to be a pimple.
But let’s see who is here tonight
            And who they’re with this day
And if they’re with the one they’d like to be
            If they had their way
Caddy longs for Ian Miner
            Trey – Andrews or Cook like as not
Cline had eyes for Funderburk
            She for Jared Scott.
Penny longs for Simoneax
            Day likes Rocha’s looks
Richie flirts with every girl
            Names beginning with “Madi” top Rocha’s book.
Jared thinks of Megan Sanders
            As he sits here tonight
Marrisa isn’t really picky
            As long as skin color’s right.
Austin thinks of all the girls
            Which one does he like best
Shoot, he’ll be more than satisfied
            If even one said “yes”
Lyeah longs for Garrett
            And maybe he her too
Kenera thinks of just Obama
            Ian of Emily true.
It’s said that Smith has eyes set
            On big, bad, Colin there
While Deon sits and stares at Sarah
            Sitting in her chair.
There are some others but we’ll stop
            Not fracture couples on the way
Of course, we didn’t mention all the couples
            Even left out Collin and Trey.
By the way should you see someone tonight
            Swearing, fighting or even stealing now by chance
Know right TCS will put up with that
            As long as you don’t dance.
Well, we’ve caused enough mayhem for one night
            So let’s move on another way
We’ll turn to a few dolls now
            To see what they have to say.
Julia Penny doll; you wind it up and it goes up to the Miles Daniels doll and says,
            “Hi there, big boy, wanna take me to the banquet--- and stands in front of him and waits and waits and Waits for an answer”
Miles Daniels…….looks at Julie Penny doll and thinks, “Oh, great, how do I get out of this?”
Megan Payne, Christina Andrews and Paula Scoggins…………….become a pack of
            Pouncing cougars.
TCS Football Team Dolls………..they hear the basketball team won a game and
            Remark, “you mean your supposed to win a game?  No one ever told us that.”
Daniel Giese --------says show me any doll named Julia and can break her heart.
 Ian Miner, Austin Sharnhorst, Scott Haley, Daniel Giese, Chase Vaden and Ben
 Materne dolls………………….. all get together and say, “OK, we’re tired of all of us  having to run from Emily, let’s make this a relay team.”
Reuben Katagiri……………………talks, and talks, and talks, but the other
             dolls just pretend to understand.
Chase Vaden…………..says to the Daniel Giese doll, “Come on over and I’ll show you what my dirt bike will do.”
Logan Yovanovitch………….watches only Japanese cartoons.  Reuben Katagiri and
            Jeremy Su dolls comment, “That’s weird, even we don’t do that!”
Wedding “Most Likely to’s”
MLT finally find someone to marry and then step on her veil on the way to the altar and break her neck – Trey Carpenter
MLT break up on their way to the altar – Christina and Kaleb
MLT to ask the girl to marry him on the way to the altar – Daniel Shurtleff
MLT Fantacize about marrying Obama on her way to the altar – Kenera Colley
MLT be reading a book all through her wedding night – Lea Rike
MLT have his teeth fall out when he takes a bite of the wedding cake – Collin Dehorney
MLT Run into a tree in the church parking lot – Daniel Giese
MLT have to pick his bride up from pre-school of the retirement home – Chase Vaden
MLT to have Krista write her wedding vows – Carley Gossett
MLT get beaten up by her father on the way down the aisle – Caitlin Graham
MLT make his bride ride in the back of the truck with the goats – Aziz Abassi
MLT to wear an under armour tux – Ricky Cepeda
MLT to wear a sleeveless tux – Victor Rocha
MLT to be talking which the preacher performs the ceremony – Carly Gossett
MLT to ask 23 girls to marry him and then forget which poor unfortunate girl said “yes” – Austin Scharnhorst.
MLT to have proposed to 12 women trying to form a harem – Aziz Abassi
MLT to nab some unsuspecting guy off the street and drag him down the altar – Carly Gossett
MLT find eyebrow clippings in his wedding punch – Colin DeHorney
MLT sleep through his wedding – Deon Thompson
MLT marry one of his own muscles – Ricky  Cepeda
MLT be two hours late to their senior banquet – Laura Ellis, Becky Morrison,
                        and Leah Smith


You Might be a Temple Student if………
…you stand still for more than 3 seconds and someone paints you pinkish brown.
… ask Mrs. Stringer if she’s old enough to remember when we last won a football game.
…your cheerleading squad does sign language better than cheers.
…your football team is scared of the cheerleading squad.
…you’ve seen Giese drive into a tree more than three times.
…your high school counselor collapses into a quivering heap, laughing when you ask when you’re going to graduate.
…if you feel safe because the only Arab you know isn’t smart enough to build a bomb.
…you’re a Freshman boy and at least 5 junior or senior girls asked you to the banquet.
…the clerk at QT calls you by your first name.
…you see junior and senior girls cruising the elementary halls looking for a date.
…every Hispanic boy in your school thinks he’s Mr. Universe
….if you understand even part of this poem


Well, we hope you’ve had a laugh or two
            From the foolishness here tonight
And know you’ll leave a trove of memories
            That forever will burn bright.
A great class has walked through our halls
            Some for many years
Each will leave a memory
            Sometimes laughing, sometimes tears.
But now the year is almost done
            Time for memories running out.
 Seniors set with hope and fear
            Confidence and doubt.
Knowing the first of life’s great chapters
            Is drawing to a close
Wondering what God has in store
            What challenges life will pose.
A clinging child still living there
            As adulthood pushes in.
Has the best already past
            Or has it not yet been?
Would that one could answer that
            But the answer is not known
It will be written by each one’s life
            Chiseled into stone
Good-by class of 2010.  You will be missed.