+X/C/V
2019 SENIOR ROAST
Well, here it is the end of school
And we’re all gathered here
End of school brings lots of smiles
And perhaps, to some, a tear.
You’ve been a great class and those old walls
Will forever ring with your love and laughter
You’ve been examples in so many ways
For each class that follows after.
So, let’s step back for a moment now
And look at each of you
And what your daily steps can tell us
And maybe laugh a little too.
So, please take no offense and know
That you are loved a lot
And loosen up and laugh a little
At what this year has wrought.
We’ll look at this group gathered here today
As the year draws to a close
And see what’s happened to us all:
Our joys, our stupidity and our woes.
JESSICA SAUNDERS
Koral’s tongue is on its thousandth kiss
While Jessica sits feeling cursed
And dreaming what it must be like
As she awaits her first.
Far away Jess’ boy friend sits
And his eyes never roama
And if you buy that I’ve got some ocean
Front property in Arizona.
Austin kept asking Jess for a date
After awhile it began to hurt
But, alas, he had no chance
Even Jessica’s not that desparate.
Actually, it might be good if the two dated
At least give it a fling
Austen could kiss her just so she’d know
She isn’t missing much of anything.
Just hope Jessica’s future husband doesn’t decide
To run his fingers through her hair as he might
If he does there’s real doubt he’ll have time
For anything else on their wedding night.
AUSTIN SEALS
If you’re a girl and none too cute
And Austin you haven’t tried
Secret may be to approach just right
So that you come in on his blind side.
He has a good time with his current girl
And that’s all really cool
‘Course he has an interesting history
In his girlfriend’s pool.
But he did answer an age old question
That shows he’s no one’s fool
Not sure anyone else ever discovered
How to keep a cat in a swimming pool.
One thing any girl who dates Austen has to know
On any date, if she’ll look
His mother is in the back seat taking pictures
So she can post them on Facebook.
JACK WOERNER
It’s good Jack is leaving us now
‘cause if he stayed, it’s been said
In another year he’d be combing his arm pit hair
Up over the top of his head
Satan had a wheel set up
That spun each lie Jack would tell
But, alas, it spun too fast
And rolled clear out of hell.
But, NCA seems to always be starting some new sport
To be sure our schedule is padded
Jack is a shoe in to return and coach
Demolition derby if it’s ever added.
KORAL FULLER
Koral’s been through most of the boys
She treats them like a toy
Think you’re male and Koral’s never tried to kiss -
Best check to be sure you’re a boy.
‘course with Koral it makes no difference
If she sees something fun
She’ll make out with it first…..
And decide if it’s a boy when she’s done.
Koral set her sights on Dylan there
He had no chance, what can we say
He tried, but with a broken foot
No way he’d get away.
But really they’re a perfect match
Really lots the same
Both have a revered place reserved
In NCA’s “Handsie Hall of Fame”
Koral’s known for picking them much younger
Little boys flock around like ants
Maybe it’s because she’s eager to flirt
With anything in pants
She can be quite aggressive sure
No matter age or what they wear
That’s why she’s been permanently banned
From going anywhere near the daycare.
She did lock lips with Hayden a lot
Maybe not her fault
But she had to stop for fear of begin charged
With childhood sexual assault.
But, if you try to make friends with Koral
And fail, don’t be blue
Just understand in Koral’s land of dreams
She knows she’s really better than you.
DYLAN DYSON
Dylan’s on round two at NCA
First time didn’t last, you see.
Rumor has it he got caught
Where his hands were not supposed to be.
Seems with Dylan hands problems tend to last
At least that’s what he’s found
In giving and receiving both
What goes around tends to come around.
But, Dylan’s cute and he sure knows it
But good looks can still bomb
How in the world did he end up
With Koral at Senior Prom?
He asked her there then two days later
They broke up……. boys here’s a tip
You need to realize with Koral two days
Is a long term relationship.
Dylan did make a great video of his
NCA experiences – YEAH>>>>>….. true to life for once
Next they plan on Jillian making one on safe driving
And Koral one on abstinence.
JORDAN HODZIC
Jordan finally went on a date
Figured he’d give this thing a whirl
His first question was, “Where do I go….
And does it have to be a girl?”
But he finally got a date to prom
That should surely fix it.
He’s so smooth he even made Jasmine
Buy her own prom ticket.
EMILY WISDOM
Emily’s got her man for sure
Jared bought a ring to surely take her
Although at times she does seem less a girlfriend
And more like a hired caretaker.
But he’s off to frolic miles away
And he’ll never look at other young things cute and fair
Boys always say that….. and they’re true to their word….
Emily, if you’ve any doubt……. just ask Brylee there.
BRYLEE RUSSELL
Brylee’s beau went to Tarleton and walked
Cross campus seeing all the cuties as they came
But he was true…… for at least ten feet
Then said, “I’ve got to be true to………….what’s her name?”’
But Brylee has her pride, that’s for sure
So we can let it rest for now
Following Josh to Tarleton means nothing
And we believe that…….YEAH…………..
Brylees no quitter, no siree
She’ll get him back and more
And when she does she knows just how to keep him
She bought a pair of handcuffs at the store.
But he’s a cadet now and more
Trained to fight off the enemy as it swirls
Maybe the enemy if it attacks…..
But not too good at fighting off the girls
Losing Brylee left Josh depressed
His heart breaking now we fear
Want proof? his Spring Break pictures
From Hawaii showed that real clear.
MIA SMITH
‘Tis said each has appointed time to die
And that’s likely not worth debating
When Mia’s comes there’s little doubt
She’ll keep the death angel waiting
Mia’s clock just runs slow and that’s OK
She’ll surely be alright
Course her groom will probably be asleep
Before she makes it to bed on her wedding night.
But Mia’s unique in many ways
If you give a hoot
One distinctive in her life
She’s the only girl who thinks Jack’s cute.
If you’re ever driving by and see a drunk girl
Staggering across a parking lot, don’t lurk
You’ll just know it has to be
Mia taking a break from work.
She really has a thing for fake hair
Be it on her head or eyes its piled.
Not sure why unless she thinks
It’ll drive her 7th graders wild.
Maybe driving younger boy everywhere
CODY COWEN
Cody died and went to heaven
But things didn’t go too well
The first day there God yelled, “Either he gets
Some quieter shoes or we’re sending him to hell.”
All can see Cody’s destiny has to be
It’s very clear to all
He’ll end up starring in the Nutcracker ballet
And dancing at Carnigie Hall
But Cody’s just a good ol boy
And his destiny’s not too scary
One day his picture will surely end up
Next to Redneck in the dictionary.
JARED LOPEZ
Jared bought Emilly a promise ring
Had second thoughts the very next day
So, he thought, “Do I break up…..or just sign
With a college a thousand miles away.
He’ll soon be on his way to school
Taking any way he finds
Which could take him quite awhile
Since he can’t read road signs.
SHAWN DUCKWORTH
Shawn seems so quiet and reserved
Don’t judge too quickly, you might not be right
Could be he plans the last day of school
To grab and kiss each girl in sight.
And if he does do that on the last day
One sure thing you’ll find
Koral will be waiting there
To be sure she’s first in line.
ANTHONY DAVID
Anthony's future's set and locked in stone
He'll sure die and go to hell
But, it'll onlly take about an hour in there
Before the devil casts him out as well.
The devil will say, "listen all
I'll take Hitler, Stalin and Jack the Ripper
But this guy's mouth's not staying another minute
Unless someone has a zipper.
But Anthony will some day find a girl
Who con't see - or listen to what others tell her
After all, in this great, wide world
There's got to be another Helen Keller.
We're having a contest to see
(It's all done for joy)
We want to see if Anthony is this classes'
Biggest "Moma's boy.
But Koral won't care if he be chosen
Biggest Moma's boy in school
She'll still grab him, bend himover and yell
"Kiss me you handsome fool."
AUBREY JONES
Aubrey and Dylan are in the running
For a school record known by all men
The contest: whether it took Dylan longer to get over Jillian
Or Aubrey to get over Esteven.
But, she finally moved on after looking for a boyfriend
And she looked high and low.
At least she says she has one but really
Who has a beau named "Beau?"
JILLIAN PADILLA
Jillian has much going for her
Ability and looks as well
And considering she once dated Dylan
She's the only senior who's escaped from hell.
Jillian's driving's a thing of legend
But, give her credit, she won't quit
But there's a rule in the universe for her driving
If it stands still she will hit it.
KEITH MYTAKIE
Keith seems to have what it takes
Be it physical or mental
Now if he'd just stop trying to convince
Everyone he's oriental.
We guess it's understandable for him to try
To look oriental and such
But taping the ends of his eyes up high
May have been a little much.
BLAKE MCDOWELL
Blake's got the looks and should have the girls
And never be without
But to make that statement you must ignore
The one who threw up on him while making out.
How does one know he's really bad at love
Well, here's some bedrock tips
You're not too good if a girl loses her dinner
As you start to kiss her lips.
RUDY PATEL
Rudy spends his final days
With nothing left to lose
His mind is set on "what might have been"
As he sits and drools over Matthews.
But, realize Rudy as you pine
You had no chance, for sure
Doomed from the start, you see
You're far too old for her.
ALEX MATTHEWS
Has it occurred to anyone here today
Perhaps a wise old sage
That if the Matthews girls just switched boys
They'd both be with someone their own age.
Alex's motto with boys seems to be
If he's one she won't ditch
He'd better meet her three fold test
Young, handsome and rich.
MAKALA LEEVY
Mikala's valedictorian now
Great accomplishmenets are likely next
Forturnately none will be predicated on knowing
The difference between French kissing and oral sex.
MADISON MAULDIN
Madison's still with Jeremy sure
At least tillsomething might go wrong
'course she's another Austin ex
He can't keep any girl for long.
So, she's on to one who hopes to be
A musician, unless he slips
That's good because they are especially known
For long term relationships.
LAUREN RODRICKS
Lauren even dated Austin for awhile
Then moved on to better parts
She felt a better option had to be out there
True....just find a crowd of boys and throw a dart.
Having Koral as a best friend as she does
Must be like, we all know,
Living life stuck inside
A low budget horror show.
SEVERAL BOYS
Look down the street - a cloud of smoke -
A fire in a station wagon?
Naw, just Dylan, Jack, Blake and Jordan
On "Puff the magic Dragon."
Most likely to at the Final Judgment Seat.....
Die and have to spend eternity in limbo between heaven and hell....because she was late to the judgment seat....Mia Smith
Die and try to sneak away before the judgment seat....JordanHodzic
Die and be sent directly to hell because God didn't want to listen to him....Anthony David
Before the final judgment seat begins to call God aside and say, "Before you judge Josh, I just want you to know what he did to me"...Byrlee Russell
To have to be drug kicking screaming before the judgment seat yelling, "No, no, not yet, I still haven't been kissed"....Jessica Saunders
To say to God at the judgment seat, "You'llhave to wait just a minute while my mother takes a picture of me here to post on Facebook...Austin Seals
To hear God say as he steps forward, "It's a good thing you got your hair cut because no one with a haircut looking like a head of broccoli is ever going to be let in here....Blake McDowell
To delay the judgment while God rolls on the ground laughing when he shows up asking to be let in….Jack Woerner
To protest when God tells him he’s sending him to hell and say, “That can’t be right, I’m an Eagle Scout,”….Connor Massey
To tell God, “I don’t know what sports you play up here but whatever they are you know I will be the best at it.” …..Aubrey Jones
To be denied and sent to hell instead when he asked admittance to heaven and to hear God say, “We’ve already got too many pretty boys up here”…Dylan Dyson
To die at 94 and cry, “Please let me live a little longer so I can have a second date” Jordan Hodzic
Most likely to be sent to hell and then be greeted at the gates of hell and told, “We’ve been waiting on you. You have a special statue here to commemorate you for telling more lies than anyone we’ve ever had.” Jack Woerner
To be sent to hell and then win a beauty contest down there and be selected as “Miss hell”….Koral Fuller
Most Likely To…
Never have sex on his wedding night because he’s too busy talking about it and calling his mother for advice…..Anthony David
Be left blind when a little boy puts out both her eyes trying to kill the ugly black spiders eating her eyeballs….Mia Smith
Be a closet Muslim….Rudy Patel
Be still going to scout meetings at 85….Connor Massey
To take 5 minutes to walk across the graduation stage so his mother can be sure to get enough pictures…..Austin Seals
Have her lips decay from lack of use…..Jessica Saunders
At 85 to still be single chasing middle school boys in her walker…..Koral Fuller
Not graduate because he planted his feet and refused to do an assignment…..Shawn Duckworth
Still be going to TCC in five years – all the while saying, “But, I’m going to Harvard next year”….Jordan Hodzic
To be expelled from Tarleton for beating up a cadet……Brylee Russell
To get to college and have her boyfriend say, “You didn’t really think I was serious about all that waiting stuff, did you?”
To have ring bearers older than the grooms at their weddings…..Mia Smith and Koral Fuller
Final…..
Well, we draw this to a close
And hope you’ve laughed a bit
Most of all we hope for each
All the happiness you can get.
This senior class has done us proud
Inspired and blessed us too
Our prayer for each is that the future
Holds blessings now for you.
The future rests a faceless haze
Is it friend or foe?
Until you part that future curtain
You will never know.
There’ll be joy and there’ll be pain
As your life unfolds
And many times the hand of fate
Will wipe away your goals.
You face uncertain futures now
Much as a new born child
Filled with wonder, awe and hope
And dreams you’ve not yet styled.
You’ll traverse far different paths
Your dreams can never see
In future times may each become
The one the Maker meant you to be.
My prayer is as you roll on
Your sight will be above
And stay until that endless day
Wrapped in hope and love.
I love you and you will be missed.
Beginning 2018 Senior Poem
As we gather here this final week
Of your high school career
Soon we’ll never again see many
As you wander far and near
You’ve been a great class and these old walls
Will forever ring with your love and laughter
You’ve been examples in so many ways
For each class that follows after.
But let’s step back for a moment now
And look at each of you
And what your daily steps can tell us
And maybe laugh a little too.
So, please take no offense and know
That you are loved a lot
And loosen up and laugh a little
At what this year has wrought.
Powell
Charlie here’s known far and wide
As his memory slowly fades
As one able to sleep through every class
And still get the highest grades.
But it’s probably good he has done all this
Hard telling all he missed
For one thing he may be the only boy
Brooke has never kissed.
Davis
You want to hear of a really sick puppy
We have one here, by gosh
Natalie goes about her life
Still hung up on Josh
She acts like she could like our Koby
But it’s likely Josh’s still it
But look at those two choices and know
Her judgment’s really in the pit
Natalie’s one of Josh’s exes
So, girls please don’t frown
She will tell you life got oh so much better
When she got rid of the clown.
Brooke Gilbert
I started to list the many boys
Brooke’s lips to theirs have locked
But, alas, found it much much faster
To list those to whom she’s not
Looking at all the boys Brooke’s gone through
How many there really were
Might lead one to conclude it’s not the boys……
There must be something wrong with her
Could be each boy left in disgust
Running toward the south
When in the middle of a romantic kiss
Brooke hiccuped in his mouth.
But it seems Parker’s always there
For her to run back to, you see
Which only goes to clearly show
How desperate he must be.
If you’re a young man Brooke’s never kissed
I won’t be very coy
You best go get a DNA test
Just to make sure you’re a boy
As for Brooke know for sure
It’s plain as all can see
Her DNA’s on more boy’s lips
Than Starbucks coffee will ever be
But, she’ll someday find the one
To spend her life with sure
Of course it’ll probably be the poor old man
In the resthome bed next to her
Caleb Gray
Caleb has a unique distinction
Only one kidney he has for sure
One thing you’ll never hear him say
“I’d give my kidney for a date with her.”
Others look at Caleb with many questions
Most common is when they sing
How is he going to graduate
When he never does a thing?
Sala Harrison
One blessing this class has so much
To which they can always cling
If they want to know anything at all
Just ask Sala, she knows everything
Shepherd
Joel’s number 3 in the class
So he’s nobody’s fool
Now, if he would only let us know
Where he plans to go to school
Seriously, we know you’re going to DBU
But we have a dare
Just pause a moment these last few days
And ask us if we care.
Joel lets all know that he likes
About every girl in school
That’s OK as long as he doesn’t really believe
Every girl thinks he’s real cool.
Galindo – wants to be a hobo
Some students want to turn out great
They’re sure not to aim too low
Then there’s Isiah whose life long dream
Is just to be a hobo.
But should he set out to do just that
As he journeys down the road and looks back
He’ll see Ashley running fast behind, yelling
I’ll help you carry your knapsack.
Sad thing is that in thirty years
It’s a pretty safe sure bet
He’ll come back to check on cousin Chris
And he won’t have graduated yet.
Holly Perry –
Holly’s talking to someone, who knows who
But you know what’d be so cool
If she ever made her mind up and told anyone
Where she’s going to school.
Like Joel we’ve reached the point in her quest
Of telling everyone she dare
About her going to Tarleton, that we
Really, really don’t care
Wink –
Wink’s the only student NCA has
We can point to with pride
He took a field trip, got in a wreck
And all watched as he died.
He didn’t really and if he had
One thing is sure we fear
St. Peter would have yelled from heaven
He ain’t coming here.
Baker
Rumor says Baker’s back pack
Cost two hundred, believe that if you can
He should have done like Jeremy did
And just stole it off a gay man.
McKern
McKern’s not paying much attention to all of this
So what difference does it make
She just sits and drools and drools
Each time she looks at Jake.
Which is a shame since its as obvious
As a nighttime lightning strike since
When it comes to boys and girls Jake likely doesn’t
Really know how to tell the difference.
Sable Lemons
Poor Sable’s friend broke up with her
At prom time just to try her
But she had it coming after all
She forgot his pacifier.
So then she looked to Junior High
An age range in which she stayed
And offered to take a young lad out
As long as she got paid.
We don’t want to alarm you Sable
But you need to know at any rate
There is a term that’s known by all
For girls who get paid to go on a date
We were willing to overlook all that
Just to be kind and nice
But we would prefer you stop handing out cards
That say, “Available at any price”
Ragsdale
There are degrees of dumbness but Lexi
You may take top prize away
Driving to school in your chapel uniform
Fine….except on a Saturday
But Lxie has initiative that’s for sure
Like Sable – it is funny
They both found unique ways as seniors
To earn some extra money
Lexie did take her cue from Sable
To decide to charge for her capers
But, alas, not to date
Just to write Hunter's papers
Breece Low
Breece got into a fight with her date
At prom of all the places
It started when he tried to kiss her
And got his tongue caught in her braces.
So, she sits at home alone for now
As lonely as one can get
But at least when she’s hungry
Jeremy says she can eat a pet
Breece is pretty sure she could be President
At least has it as an idea
Only question left is would it be
The United States or North Korea
Cody Jones
Cody’s lips are some that bear Brooke’s mark
What else can we say
Don’t worry, Cody, there’s hope………
The nightmares will go away.
Meanwhile don’t think Cody is too shy….
Or just acting dumb
He doesn’t go out with just anyone
Cause he’s under mama’s thumb.
He runs his business as a pro
Mows many lawns as a rule
Only thing he won’t do for any
Is mow anywhere near a pool.
For Cody has a big big dream
To swim just like an otter
The only problem being he’s too scared
To even put his big toe in the water.
Jeremy Docet – Soundcloud musician
Jeremy’s here dressed in his finest
Definitely fit to kill
What’s obvious to all is there must be
A gay rack at his local Good Will
So, when he’s gone from NCA
And you pine to have him back
Just go by that Good Will and you can probably buy
His pretty little flowered back pack
The other day he cranked his music
Extra loud and soon
The neighbors called the cops complaining -
Thought his dog was howling at the moon
But there’s no question he will make it
He’ll be playing soon enough
Course it could be at the corner of the street
Sitting beside a small tin cup.
Josh Fergeson
Josh proudly holds his revered place
With the classes hyper active look
Course he was rather calm and normal
Until he dated Brooke
He talks a lot about very little
And keeps Brylee on the string
Meaning in case you haven’t noticed
This girl doesn’t know a thing.
But she keeps Josh around her close
And she acts like she’s thankful
But dating Josh has gotta be a whole lot like
Having a parrot tied around your ankle.
Becca Sommers
Beka’s known as calm and quiet
Seldom makes a sound
Seriously, she’ll still be talking
As they put her in the ground
God will only listen for so long
To Beka’s constant blabber as well
‘til he calls an angel and shouts His orders
“Take her down to hell”
And once there one can sure expect
Only a day will pass
Until the devil cries out to God
“OK, I’m sorry for everything. Please just take her back.”
But one day Beka will find a man
Perhaps in years to come
For somewhere out there’s gotta be a fellow
Who’s surely deaf and dumb.
Ashley Brewer
Is Brewer here today? Who?
Oh, you probably have to ask
But, this girl you’ve likely never seen
Is really in your class.
But she can hold on to boys
In case that’s your query
Her last boyfriend liked her so much
He went and joined the navy.
(something about nationality of bf)
Madison Alford
Madison’s here with police in pursuit
She’s only on loan you see
From starring in NCA’s version of
The Demolition Derby
She’s had a lot of boyfriends – some
for only 10 minutes she can boast
One has a sneaking suspicion, given the chance
She just might date a fence post.
In speech, Beigle, Ashley and Madison oft
Disagreed - at times quite firm
But they seemed to most that watched the scene
Like 3 chickens arguing ore a worm.
But let’s be real and all admit
If Beigle ever beckoned
Madison would without a doubt
Go out with him in a second.
You may doubt all that but let me tell you
That wouldn’t be much of a struggle
The other day she went up to him and ask
“Hey big boy, want to snuggle?”
Tyler Toomer
After dating Holly and Rebecca
Toomer knew this wasn’t cool
He went running to Mrs. Shannomon and demanded
“You’ve gotta get some black chicks in this school”
Jake Mitchell
Jake’s set his mind on the navy
Did everything they said
Then almost got rejected – brain damage - from getting hit
Too many times beside the head.
Knowing Jake is on guard will ease our mind
What can we really say
Rumor has it North Korea disarmed
Just knowing Jake was on the way.
Jake makes no secret of the fact
NCA’s not his favorite place
But we’re not sure any school with work
Would bring a smile to his face
But perhaps there are some that would
And that he would find quite cool
Of course, with his fear of women
It’d have to be an all boys school
Navy men are widely known for having
A girl in every port
We’ll pause while each of you say to yourself
Yeah…………..Jake’ll not do any thing of that sort.
Hannah Holmes – broken knee
Some of you girls may be sad
With no boyfriend of any form or fashion
Could be worse…look at Hannah
You could be dating Vassion.
We sure hope that Hannah’s saved
Her in hell would be so sad
But at least after dating Vassion
Hell wouldn’t seem so bad.
Beccera
Becerra’s valedictorian if you haven’t heard
But she’s probably told everyone in the house
The other day I saw her on the softball field
Sharing the news with a field mouse.
Saw her downtown the other day
Seemed kind of late
But she was with her granddad……
Oh…… that was her date?
But it’s good to start dating someone as old as Haley did
Some thing’s good for sure
If things go bad and the need is there
He can learn to burp her.
We guess it’s OK with their ages
It’s not a huge amount
It is embarrassing though when he tells everyone
She’s his little sister to get the child’s discount.
Leslie Peterson
Leslie went to prom with Wink
OK, not your top banana
But when she began to feel discouraged
She just looked at Hannah.
We won’t say she asks dumb questions
She’s #2 in class somehow
When she and Wink got ready to say good night after prom
She asked, “What do we do now?”
Wink took dumb questions for awhile
But not too long, nope
Eventually he’s going to look at Leslie
And say, “I’ve lost all Hope.”
Caleb Arnold
Caleb’s grades are good, seem’s bright enough
But what’s worthy of lots of groans
Is he actually went into business with
Christian and Cody Jones.
He does hold one school record now
Unbroken near or far
He’s the only Lion to ever drive
His jeep up on another car.
But he wasn’t ready to let it go
No, that wouldn’t do
With his car on top he asked the lady
Are you sure it was me that hit you.
Keith Miller
Wow! Did you see Millers date to prom
Didn’t see him getting anything of that kind
But, let’s not be too prejudiced
There are good looking girls in schools for the blind.
His hair hanging over his face may have helped
His impression on her to be stronger
Strange though, she kept asking if there was any way
He could grow it any longer.
We hear while in 8th grade he hit
His head so hard on his desk one day
That it made the little boy cry and cry
And may help explain the way he is today.
In spite of what you all say
You wish you had the luck
To someday have the great good fortune
To own his smokin’ truck
Koby Herrod
Dorks are noted in different ways
Be it north or south
But anywhere would call it that
If you walked around with a straw in your mouth
But Koby thinks he’s really cool
Don’t tell him different – be a friend
Why someday , who knows, he might find a girl
To suck on the other end.
But if not he won’t be alone
However his luck runs
He will always have the option
To snuggle up with his guns.
But someday at the gates of heaven
St. Peter will give Cody a choice
You can either go to hell right now
Or admit you lied to Mrs. Boice.
Cox
Cox is practicing to be a boss
To enjoy its many capers
He’s begun the transition by deciding to
Pay someone to write his papers.
Since he’s evidently in the mood
to pay for favors as he’s able
Let’s be sure as best we can
He stays far away from Sable.
Hunter’s over the hot romance he had
For a time with Bryar
At least we think he’s over but why
Does new girlfriend look exactly like her?
But if things go too bad in his life
He knows where he needs to be
He ‘ll just pick Brooke up in his truck
And head for KFC
Pena
Pena’s white streak in his hair
May be just for style
We’re not sure about the girls
But he drives female skunks really wild.
Chris has in mind a record sure
Not likely to be topped
His average in bible is below a 10
Good thing the tests have stopped
What’s really bad is this week I found
A cockroach in the class
I tested him and his average
Was high enough to pass
Chris has to hope that on judgment day
As He faces God and all his aides
God doesn’t stop and say, “Just a minute”
Let’s check your bible grades.”
If He should, Chris will look like a rocket
Leaving heaven with a yell
And streaking across the vast expanse……..
Headed straight to hell.
Soltau
Soltau has all the emarks of someone
We’ve seen and you’d best care
He’ll take his nerdy ways and invent something
And be a billionaire
But it may really be of benefit to some
Even from this class
Cody for one might land a job
Mowing Soltau’s grass.
Soltau will marry the one he loves most
When the truth is told
But, it may not work out at all
Trump may be too old
Viera
Hankins and Viera – a strange couple
But let’s be honest and real fair
Most just shake their head and wonder
Who’s most desperate in this pair.
But maybe Josiah’s not so dumb
In many estimations
After all he says he’s leaving town
Right after graduation.
Course a few miles down the road
Feeling good he finally dumped her
He’ll get out and walk around the car
And find her clinging to the bumper.
Hankins
Hankins dreams of her man
Makes sure he’s hers for keeps
I guess he’s who she’s dreaming of
In class as she sleeps
We’re really not sure she loves him
Sure doesn’t want him as a brother
But there are times one has to wonder
If she wants to be his mother.
She will have one distinction in her life
That she can always carry.
Her picture will always be next to “Rude”
In the dictionary.
Most eventually marry so a few Wedding “Most Likely to’s”
MLT to turn to her groom at the altar and say, “You know I’m going to “Tarleton”, don’t you? - Holly Perry
MLT flirt with a boy in the audience on her way to the altar – Brooke Gilbert
MLT have a wreck on their way to their weddings – Madison Alford and Caleb Arnold
MLT have to have his bride explain the facts of life to him – Jake Mitchell
MLT not be able to kiss her groom because her lips are worn out – Brooke Gilbert
MLT to ask a dumb question during her wedding ceremony – Leslie Peterson
MLT have to pick her groom up from pre-school – Sable Lemons
MLT to be wearing white shoes at his wedding – Cody Jones
MLT marry a gay man without knowing it since he can’t see through his hair – Keith Miller
MLT to have Colonel Saunders perform his wedding – Hunter Cox
MLT to wear a sleeveless tux – Josiah Viera
MLT break up on their way to the altar – Brooke Gilbert and whoever she’s marrying
MLT to be singing a country song as he walks down to the altar: “Where the ______ and I and who the __________are you – Jake Mitchell
MLT correct the pastor during the ceremony – Sala Harrison
MLT likely to eat catsup with her wedding cake – sable Lemons
MLT be chewing on a straw during his wedding ceremony – Koby Herod
MLT stop while walking down the aisle and say to someone in the audience, “Did I tell you about the time……” - Josh Fergeson
MLT to be talking while the preacher performs the ceremony – Beka Sommers
MLT to have his mother walk him down the aisle –Cody Jones
MLT to still be asking “Where are all the white chicks” during his wedding – Tyler Toomer
MLT to answer for the groom “Of course he does..” when he is ask, “Do you take this woman…”- Sky Hankins
MLT to want the percussion team to play at their weddings – Joseph Soltau and Beka Sommers
MLT have to help her aged groom down the aisle because he’s too feeble – Haley Beccera
MLT somewhere in the wedding vows she wrote for her husband to say “I think you’re finger lickini good” – Brooke Gilbert
MLT be flirting with the ring bearer during her wedding ceremony – Sable Lemons
MLT to nab some unsuspecting guy off the street and drag him down the altar – Ashley Brewer
MLT sleep through his wedding night and wake up the next morning and say, “Did I miss anything?” – Charlie Powell
Closing
Well, we hope you’ve had a laugh or two
From the foolishness here today
And know you’ll leave a trove of memories
That will burn bright as the day.
A great class has walked through our halls
Some for many years
Each will leave a memory
Sometimes laughing, sometimes tears.
But now the year is almost done
Time for memories running out.
Seniors set with hope and fear
Confidence and doubt.
Knowing the first of life’s great chapters
Is drawing to a close
Wondering what God has in store
What challenges life will pose.
A clinging child still living there
As adulthood pushes in.
Has the best already past
Or has it not yet been?
Would that one could answer that
But the answer is not known
It will be written by each one’s life
Chiseled into stone
Good-by class of 2018. You will be missed. And, I do love you.
